Being in the counseling field for 12 years has taught me these 3 things.

 Over the years, I've noticed some common things in my work with people. I've been doing this type of work for about 12 years now. Here's a list of some things that I've learned through my 12 years in the field.

• No matter how much training you've had, you can never predict how a person is going to be. I can remember ever single person I've worked with. I can say with confidence that every single person has been completely different from one other. Every person I've met has had different stories, different pains, different triumphs, different insecurities, different combination of strengths and areas of growth. This might be obvious that people are all unique but sometimes, we tend to over generalize or make quick assumptions about others. Working from this lens of seeing the whole person and not just their symptoms, it's taught me that as a whole, we are all beautifully unique and human. On the surface, that's not something we necessarily see. Exercise: Instead of assuming that you already know someone and their intentions, try to learn something new about them- especially if you've already known this person.

• True listening allows you to see more than what's being said. You know the feeling, when you can hear your friend saying one thing as their body is communicating another. Maybe you catch a glimpse of their quivering lip as their voice trails off as their talking about their kid who's sick and having problems sleeping for the 5th night in row. Or a sad gaze of the checkout clerk as they ask, "Find everything you're looking for today?" True listening is where your body is also picking up on instinctual signals and cues that you may otherwise miss if you're distracted. Exercise: The next time you talk to someone-Try intentionally listening with your full attention and notice what a difference it makes.

• We all need a sense of connection, not just with others but also with ourselves. One example is through play. Imagine if your pet or child didn't know how to play. That would make life incredibly impairing, boring, and limited for them. After all, their playfulness is in part why we love them. Their innocent characteristics of authentic playfulness is what brings joy to our lives. They aren't inhibited by adult responsibility and the social constructs of how they "should" act. They play by their own rules, living in tune with their rhythm. They're connected with themselves and what brings them amusement in the moment. I find that when I help people to re-integrate those parts of themselves into their current life, they're able to ignite something thats energizing and creative from within. Examples of this may include: signing up to try a new creative class, making a game out of ordinary chores in the house, trying something new with your partner.